


to much

by addib



Series: drowning [1]
Category: Hawkeye (Comics), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Clint Barton Needs a Hug, Deaf Clint Barton, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Steve Rogers is an ass, winterhawk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2019-09-06
Packaged: 2020-10-10 21:42:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20535053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/addib/pseuds/addib
Summary: Clint comes back from a mission that went south. Not much goes better.





	to much

**Author's Note:**

> am I projecting onto baby? yes. yes I am.

The dropping of a tac bag alerted Bucky to Clint's return. He had started brewing a fresh pot of coffee when Friday had alerted him of the archers return. But Clint looked like shit. This realization had him dumping the pot of coffee down the drain without a second though. Clint didn't need to be keyed up anymore going off of his entrance.

"Wanna tell me what happened doll," Bucky asked as he started on making pasta. He had eaten already, but again. Clint looked like shit and like he hadn't eaten or slept in too long. Clint didn't even glance up. Just went to the bedroom silently. Bucky shrugged and kept cooking, thinking he had gone to bed. He could eat leftovers whenever he woke up. What gave Bucky pause was the fact the Clint managed to appear after only a few minutes behind the closed door. He had changed, but not showered. Bucky knew Clint always showered after a mission, to 'get the grime off'.

"Doll," Bucky tried again. And then he noticed there was a distinct lack of purple around Clint's ears. So he hadn't even heard Bucky talking to him earlier. Clint hated going without his aids though. He only took them out to sleep, and Bucky assumed when he was by himself.There again though, Bucky had never seen Clint awake without them. He went over to get Clint's attention, when a video call from Steve came over the tv projector thingy Stark had installed a while back. And Stevie looked pissed to hell. 'This ain't gonna go well' he thought as he went to the very edge of where the sending camera would pick up. He didn't want Steve to know he was listening in.

But he couldn't listen in. The sound wasn't coming through, just subtitles running along the middle of the screen. Which was very smart to whoever programmed it to do that for Clint. That way he knew what was being said to him without him having to loose eye contact with the other. And _Jesus_ Steve was tearing into Clint. Then the sound clicked on.

"Stupidly irresponsible Barton. You lost one of our best agents because you couldn't think about another person for just a second," Steve was fuming on the wall where his face was being projected. Clint just nodded. And, yeah, Bucky knew that Clint wouldn't sound the same if he tried to reply, but Steve was going a little far.

"Irresponsible waste is what you are Barton. You're on Avengers leave for a month to pull your head out of your ass." And Steve hung up.

And Clint slumped down like the world had been tossed onto his shoulders.

Bucky walked over and put his hand on Clint's shoulder, trying to be a calming presence or something for him. That is until he was judo flipped onto his back with the wind thoroughly knocked out of him. 

Clint's face quickly came into view with mumbled apologies mixed with some one handed signs Bucky couldn't understand even if he wanted to. Clint pulled hime up from the floor and kept trying to apologize. Buck could tell, even though the more Clint talked the harder it was to understand him. Which had Bucky reaching out and pulling Clint's hands to be enveloped by his.

Clint was crying.

_Well, shit Barnes how are you gonna fix this._

Clint was still half heartedly trying to murmur apologies before Bucky leaned down and kissed him softly. He ran his flesh hand up Clint's face to just below his ear, his thumb wiping away a stray tear. Clint pulled away after just a second though, shaking his head. Bucky was going to kill Steve. Clint only acted like this when Steve was an ass about a mission, or something Clint did on a mission, or how Clint never seemed to be professional enough in his eyes, or any number of reason that Steve decided to tear into Clint.

Bucky pulled Clint's face to look down at him. He had to think how to say this so the Clint could read his lips. When he was paying attention though, Clint's eyes were closed. So instead of even trying to get Clint to understand him, Bucky just rose up a bit to kiss his forehead.

Bucky got Clint to sit down at the bar while he went in search of the backup hearing aids. They were old, and Clint didn't love wearing them, but they'd be better than Bucky understanding only half of what Clint was signing. Every time he misunderstood Clint would look about five seconds away from launching himself off the fire escape. The stupid things were in Bucky's bedside table surrounded by other less innocent items. With a roll of his eyes Bucky brandished his prize to Clint, who inserted them and turned them on.

"Wanna tell me about what's goin' on sweetheart," Bucky asked as he slid onto the bar top. Clint grimaced but nodded. Bucky decided to finish making him a meal, since knowing Clint he hadn't eaten much other than takeout while out.

"Don't," Clint said when Bucky turned the stove on, "'m not hungry." Bucky snapped his head up so fast it's a miracle he didn't get whiplash. Clint was _lying_. No, Clint was trying to lie to _Bucky._ Big mistake when you want to be left alone. Bucky didn't stop his cooking.

"Try again," Bucky raised his eyebrow-of-shame and dumped half a box of noodles into the boiling water.

"I fucked up," Clint laid his head down on folded arms, "what else is new."

"That's not the whole story and we both know it."

Clint rolled his eyes at that. He hated it when Bucky started in on the questioning. Yes, it was coming from a good place. But _fuck him_, Clint didn't deserve to be handled with care at all right now. He had fucked up the assignment. Agent Jackie had tried to cover his ass, but got hit with two many bullets for anyone man to survive. It was supposed to be _Clint_ that was dead, not Jackie. Clint couldn't tell Bucky. He wouldn't tell him. Nice and easy, he just won't eat dinner with him and go down to the range instead.

"Your overthinking Clint. Tell me so that I can help." They had done this before. Anytime something like this would happen, a nightmare or a mission gone wrong or anything in between, they'd talk it out and comfort each other. And Clint hated it. He hated that he was so dependent on Bucky. Bucky didn't deserve his shit. No one deserved to have to put up with him. Jackie didn't deserve to die to save his worthless ass. And. And. And fuck he couldn't breath.

Bucky could tell he was derailing to a really bad place. He maneuvered Clint down to the floor with his back against the bar. Breathing exercises. Reassuring words. Calm voice. Bucky was losing track of how long Clint had been like this. He was close as he's ever been to calling someone for help when it came to Clint. And then Clint let out a full body sob.

Bucky pulled Clint into his chest and rocked him back and forth. He didn't know what had gone on. He knew he couldn't change or fix anything. He fully intended to wear Steve's ass out about this. But right Clint needed him. Clint needed him to not ask questions and to hold him. And that. That Bucky could do without question.

**Author's Note:**

> I am an attention whore that loves to hear comments and feedback


End file.
